Gourdon’s Two Cents

Howdy everyone. It’s me again, Gourdon. I’ve been busy going around the country by hitching rides on produce trucks, making sure to campaign for Fibbs wherever I can (see my old letter for details). Just the other day Tom, Pete, Quinton, Cindy, and I finished putting up this awesome billboard. While we stood off to the side and admired our work, someone came by and said, “You would have to be real fruity to vote for a rat.”

At first, I was really insulted. Some of my best friends, including my girlfriend, are fruits. I wanted to go over there and give that guy what for, but realized that would not be a very Donutcratic thing to do. You see, there are all types of people, animals, and other things out there, so there are bound to be differences amongst them. Being a Donutcrat means understanding that and accepting others for who they are and not dismissing them just because they may lack something.

For instance, though I may lack beautiful skin, Fibbs still accepted me for who I was, leading to a great friendship. I mean, we don’t criticize donuts for lacking a center. Nope, we accept them for all the yummy goodness they are. If we only focus on the things that make us different, or the things we think someone else lacks, we will never be united. That is why Fibbs’ platform of donut love is so genius. It doesn’t divide us on things like taxes, government spending, etc., but rather focuses on uniting us on our universal love of donuts, snacks, and naps, and our shared hatred of Mondays. Sorry Monday, nobody likes you (but you can still be a Donutcrat if you want).

In fact, I invite everyone to be a Donutcrat. It doesn’t matter who or what you are; as long as you love donuts you’re okay in our books. So join the coalition and help Fibbs make America great again for everyone.

Fibbs for America, and donuts for eberyone!

(Billboard art by Nadyart Illustration)

Letter from Gouron by Kebin Stabinsky