BACKSTAGE BULLETIN

Baxter Wiff a B Update from the Wings

Barry, still wearing yesterday’s headset (and possibly yesterday’s socks), was spotted at the tiny backstage desk sipping cold espresso and muttering softly into his mic:

“Okay team, we’re on Plan G… maybe H… Waffles is out again. Repeat, Waffles is still out. I need someone who can do his part, talk pastry, and wear a bowtie without irony. Anyone? No? Fine. I’ll do it myself.”

With a half-eaten slice of cheese toast left untouched, Barry is visibly tired — and not just because he accidentally called “lighting cue 3″ 10 minutes too early. He’s been up since dawn coordinating lighting gels, triple-checking Reuben’s fruit tray, and trying to reschedule Baxter’s time travel cue around everyone’s coffee breaks.

“I can cue fog and dodge a rogue wheel of Camembert mid-show,” he grumbled. “But I cannot, I will not, learn Waffles’ harmony part by curtain.”

Barry is doing his best. But if anyone sees a rat in a bowtie willing to cover for Waffles until he returns, please report to the stage manager’s desk immediately. Preferably with cheese.

Curtain in ten. Barry’s hanging on by a thread. A thread and one last espresso shot.