Barry Barometer

“Barry Barometer here…reporting remotely for Marty News Network in the middle ob a blizzard. It’s really cold and the power might go out, so make sure you hab some room temperature snacks ready for the next few days. Crackers. Dry cereal. That one snack you don’t really like but will eat because it’s there.

Do not try to trabel. Eben if you fink, “I can probably make it,” you probably cannot, so don’t eben try. The snow is piling up, the wind is doing whatever it wants, and visibility is… not great. I am outside and immediately regretted being on this assignment.

If you are inside, stay inside. If you are already warm, please remain warm. If you are not warm, consider adding a sweater, or two sweaters, or quietly wrapping yourself in a blanket and accepting the situation.

Conditions are harsh, and morale is being held together by snacks and determinashun.

This has been the Barry Barometer. Everybody stay safe.

I’m going back inside now. “