Hai eberybody.  Dis Cosmo.  Dis weekend was one ob celebrashun!  All three ob us hab granulated from MSOB (Marty’s School ob Bizness) wiff honors on our diplomas in the category ob Internashunal Bizness wiff minors in Stapling.  It was a berry serious and academic affair, but it was fun too.  Lots ob people came to see us matriculate and do our speeches.  It was beautiful weather and the granulashun snacks were out ob dis world!  Stephen Root was our key note speaker, he gab a rousing speech about the importance of the red stapler in Bizness, and in life.  Besides stapling, we know the importance ob reaching out to others with lub and respect, filling the world wiff lub, smiles and laughter.  We will do our duty to do dat the best we can, wiff the tools we hab learned here at MSOB.  These hallowed halls hab had greatness pass before us, we hope to step into the footsteps they left behind wiff grace, and fulfill a duty to go forff and make the world a better place for eberybody.

Fank you all for your support during our school days, we look forward to going out into the world and doing more bizness wiff you.  The Internashual kind, and beyond!