Hey guys. We’re George and Shy Guy. You’ve never met us but you were friends with our brother Feodore. He gave you bizness licenses for Texas and Birginia and was also the first graduate of the Marty School of Bizness Correspondence Course. He was a smart boy who left our house and mommy proud. And while he left us for Heaben to be wiff Marty, before he did, he left a big mark on all of us and a roadmap to follow.

That roadmap is to be awesome at Internashunal Bizness! Plus, if we get bizness degrees, it would probably help all our other buddies back at the rescue. Like Feodore, we were both adopted from the Saint Nicholas Mouse Rescue. Can you imagine how much it would help adoptions for them if we also got bizness degrees from Marty’s School of Bizness? To have three rats from the same rescue get degrees from the premier school of bizness would definitely allow the nice folks there to advertise themselves as the rescue wiff da smartest rats eber!

So we are following the checklist to be good internashunal bizness rats. We tried to master the stapler, but it makes a loud noise when you push it, and dat kind of scared Shy Guy. So we moved on to other fings (we’ll keep practicing on da stapler). Mailing fings seemed more fun, as eberyone at da Post Office finks it is cute to see little ratties doing bizness. So here is our attempt at mailing fings: bizness licenses from Connecticut.

Why Connecticut? Well, we heard through the grape vine our Mommy once lived there shortly. And since you always give a little tour of whatever state you bisit, we figured it would be neat to hear a little about somewhere Mommy once libed.

Can’t wait to hear of your Connecticut adbentures. Take care and all the best.

Your new pals,

George  & Shy Guy

Fanks to George and Shy Guy, we hab indeed taken a trip to Connecticut to bisit and check out the bizness opportunities.  Milo bisited the Yale campus to look for the first telephone book eber issued – because contained only fifty names and he thought dat was amazing – we have more first cousins!  The New Haben District Telephone Company published it in February 1878.  Dat was waaaaay back in yesteryear.  Plus he neber passes up a chance to do his Stebe Martin impresshun…. “The new phone books are here!!  The new phone books are here!!”  You wouldn’t fink so, but he’s acktually pretty good at it.

I did a little campaigning in Hartford, howeber you may not, under any circumstances, cross the street walking on your hands.  Well, dat is pretty hard for me not to do, so I had to take the backroads around town and I found a yogie in the road!  So I eated it.

Wimbley was happy to do some bizness paperwork from home, but hopes to wear his trabel clothes and go wiff us again soon.

Fank you boys (and Lisa & Kebin)!!  Keep on practing wiff your stapler and you will be certified at bizness in no time.

Save

Save

Howdy everyone. It’s me again, Gourdon. I’ve been busy going around the country by hitching rides on produce trucks, making sure to campaign for Fibbs wherever I can (see my old letter for details). Just the other day Tom, Pete, Quinton, Cindy, and I finished putting up this awesome billboard. While we stood off to the side and admired our work, someone came by and said, “You would have to be real fruity to vote for a rat.”

At first, I was really insulted. Some of my best friends, including my girlfriend, are fruits. I wanted to go over there and give that guy what for, but realized that would not be a very Donutcratic thing to do. You see, there are all types of people, animals, and other things out there, so there are bound to be differences amongst them. Being a Donutcrat means understanding that and accepting others for who they are and not dismissing them just because they may lack something.

For instance, though I may lack beautiful skin, Fibbs still accepted me for who I was, leading to a great friendship. I mean, we don’t criticize donuts for lacking a center. Nope, we accept them for all the yummy goodness they are. If we only focus on the things that make us different, or the things we think someone else lacks, we will never be united. That is why Fibbs’ platform of donut love is so genius. It doesn’t divide us on things like taxes, government spending, etc., but rather focuses on uniting us on our universal love of donuts, snacks, and naps, and our shared hatred of Mondays. Sorry Monday, nobody likes you (but you can still be a Donutcrat if you want).

In fact, I invite everyone to be a Donutcrat. It doesn’t matter who or what you are; as long as you love donuts you’re okay in our books. So join the coalition and help Fibbs make America great again for everyone.

Fibbs for America, and donuts for eberyone!

(Billboard art by Nadyart Illustration)

Letter from Gouron by Kebin Stabinsky

Ok, we are late wishing you a happy Easter, but better late then neber, right?!    Happy Easter Eberybunny!