Texas Bizness

Today, we are in the berry big great state ob Texas.  It’s hot here.  They call it the lone star state, which I don’t understand because there seems to be the same amount as in ebery other state, but they do hab cattle wiff berry long horns!  I met dis guy named Barry, and his horns were berry impressive indeed.  He said later we could all hop on and he would take us on a tour ob his ranch.   Augie was really interested in the horses and eben though they were intimidating he set his mind to learn how to wrangle dem.

“Cosmo’s Fancy Pants Mobie Rebiews and Cultural Commentary is focusing on culture dis week.  Here I am at the heartbeat of Magnolia Farms, the HQ ob Chip and Joanna Gaines and their house flipping show “Fixer Upper”.  I hab neber seen so much shiplap in one place, and it is glorious!!  The serbice they provide taking run down old houses and turning them into stunning updated homes is noffing short ob amazing.  They also do bizness and sell floofy house stuff at Target, online and at their store here in Waco.  For their influence on Texas culture, I gib them a thumbs up.  dis Cosmo.”

Fank you Sandy Maurer for Texas bizness and the cowboy hats so we fit right in.  We will see you soon for BBQ!

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BIG Oregon Bizness

We got a call dis morning dat there was some BIG bizness opportunites for us back in states, and specifically in Oregon, so we made a fresh batch ob trabel juice and were on our way.  We had a great time oberseas!  Hopefully we can go more places and do more bizness wiff other countries.

This OR bizness is berry big.  I hope we can handle it, but I fink we can.  Augie is a little short, we might hab to get him a step stool, but dats ok.  Fank you to Dan and Shannon Neuwirff for trusting us wiff such big expectashuns.  We won’t let you down!

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Monday

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New Zeeland Bizness

Hai eberybody.  We had a little hiccup in our trabel plans in Switzerland, we were berry low on trabel juice and almost couldn’t find one ob the ingrediemts, but we did finally found a Swiss store dat had eberyfing – chocolate, cheese and the secret fing we needed!  Our next stop is way all around the world to New Zealand.  We are bisiting Whanganui to see our human cousins who are libing here wiff their dad doing doctor bizness.  They go to school and you know what?  They don’t hab to wear shoes!  I mean, we don’t hab to wear shoes either, but most ob the time hoomans hab to wear shoes at schools and stuff.  They introduced us to some of their sheep friends, and we went on a road trip to look for kiwis.  We stopped for lunch and I was in the mood for some abacado toast, but it turns out there is an abacado emergency here right now, so I had to pick something else.  Oh well, that’s ok.  I guess the abacado bizness will be a no go, but lots of good bizness prospects.

Augie went to Hobbiton to look for Frodo and Sam, but they weren’t home.  The door was open though, and he said their house is awesome!  He went in for a little bit and took a nap.  He woke up when someone knocked on the door – it was Gamdalf.  They had a nice chat ober tea and then he came and caught up wiff us and we took the ferry ober to the souff island.

Fank you Maria Kopp, we will be in Renwick for dinner before we leabe NZ, so we will meet you there!  PS. Please bring corms.  Dis Cosmo.

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Swiss Bizness

On to Switzerland to do some Internashunal bizness and find some chocolate!!   Hey, Mr. Cow, you got any chocolate?  No?  He said try up in the billage.  We went to the billage and met some nice people and saw some cute stores and amazing landscapes, look at those big mountains!  I fink someone said they are called Alf, like the aliem guy on teebee.  But so far no chocolate to be found, we are getting really hungry! I fink we will hab to go to Zurich and find Dani and see if she habs any chocolate for us.  Can’t concemtrate on bizness wiffout our chocolate fix.  Or maybe some cheese.  I wonder if they hab any swiss cheese around here.   Dis Cosmo.  On a qwest for cheese and chocolate!!

Fank you berry much Dani Pine. You said these were made wiff lub.  Yep, we could tell.  xo



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Scottish Bizness

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Oh Canada

Fank you Christina Anderson for inbiting us to Camada. Sorry it took us so long to get here, we had to granulate first before we could trabel internashunal.  We are ready to do some Canadiam bizness, eh!  We hab heard about your bacon. And French fries wiff graby.  Does dat make them French-Canadiam?  It’s time to start looking for bizness opportunities in the great white norff.  I know you hab a few Marty Marts and Fibbs Donuts and Frostee Freeze already.  You can expect Cosmo will be rebeiwing a Canadiam movie or two.

We are going to get in the boats now and search for some narwhal.  We’re gonna take off, eh.  See ya later.

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Oxbow Veggie Treats

We stopped for a snack on our road trip – we found some crunchy Beggie Treats at dis hotel.  Gotta get some good body fuel, we are headed to Canada, our first stop on some Internashunal adbentures!!     #oxbowsponsored


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Birginia Bizness

It was a long ride, but we finally made it to our first stop on dis trabel adbenture… Birginia!  King Bean paid a bisit to the FBI HQ ASAP to relay Fibbs salutashuns and check in on them and fank them for the job they are doing.  The captain gave Bean a scooter tour ob the facilities and they discussed some top secret state secrets stuff he told me I can’t tell you.  Augie went to a military aquarium museum and looked at some fishes and missles and new fish suits for stealth attacks via waterways.  But we really shouldn’t talk about that either.

I found a mobie theater so I could gib you a rebiew from Cosmo’s Fancy Pants Cultural Commentary and Mobie Rebiews.   I saw a mobie called Eighth Grade and if you want to be reminded ob how awkward and embarrassing it can feel to be in middle school, you should go see it.  It’s really good at making you remember how squirmy and weird school can make you feel.  I’m so glad we are done wiff school, but it actually wasn’t bad for us because our school was all boys. But anyway, it was a good mobie, and you should probably go see it.  Nuffing explodes in it and no super heroes.  I won’t spoil it and tell you if she makes it to ninth grade or not.  The popcorm was good.

They say Birginia is for Lubbers, but we are all single, so we are mobing on to our next stop before all the girls start chasing us and try to kiss us.

Fanks to our buddy Bert (& Ernie & Princess Celestia & Kebin Stanbinsky) for hooking us up wiff the bizness here – we lub you guys!  Keep up the good science and reading reports.  P.S. dis Cosmo

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Bedtime

We finally got started on our adbenture today, but now it’s time to tuck ourselbes in and get some rest.  Dis hotel has a fancy bed, but I’d rather sleep in my comfy new sock.  Eben when you are on adbenture, you still hab to be careful ob Mondays and treat them wiff caushun.

Fanks to our friend Sarah Perry for these super comfy socks!!  We just recently found out dat when she sent them she sent cookies wiff them too – but our mom eated dem all!!  I was shocked and appauled when I found out (see my face?!?). But before we left, she did go out and get a whole big bag for us to share and they were super tasty.

Stay safe dis Monday!  Use all the Monday aboidance tactics we hab taught you.


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