Today I picked a new sock to use for Sock Day.
I picked dis one.
y
Hello, and welcome to the Thursday editshun ob the news, wiff your hosts Ted Baxter.
Earlier dis week, hundreds ob boxes of raisins spilled onto the freeway.
Good.
Dis place is great and has all the kinds ob candy! Red ones, and blue ones and yellow ones… I fink I might need a big basket to get eberyfing I want. I need some chocolate ones and nutter butters, and ice cubes, and twizzlers, and bubble gum and laffy taffy and maybe some breaff mints in case I eber want to kiss a girl.
Well, eben tho the guy at Uber was nice when I talked to him, I hab decided to change my bizness name to Go Fish. So if you want to go wiff Fish, you can request me on the Go Fish app. Any my slogan is “wiff Fish, a great ride is always in the cards”.
Today was a good dribing day and I ended up here at a camdy store. You want anyfing?
**crickets**
**crickets**
I’m trying so hard to be patient, and hopeful.
Dis morning we went to a new coffee place called Retro Coffee House and Cafe. They hab really good coffee and pasteries and hab teebees all ober playing bintage teebee shows. We watched some ob the Bob Newhart Show and the Dick bam Dyke show. It was a berry fun place and great way to spend the morning. We talked about all kinds ob fings and got caught up on the latest news wiff each other. Please come join us sometime. P.S. They serbe coffee from Augie’s Cosmopolitan Beanery!
That’s just nuts!
It was getting late that night, and then all ob a sudden…. **ring ring**
Baxter picked up the phone wiff excitement and we all waited as he listened to what the person on the other end was saying.
“No fank you, we don’t want an extended warranty on our automobile…” he hung up the phone, let out a sigh and continued waiting…
Well, I decided to go up to Uber and talk to them. I understand I could hab aboided all dis wiff an umlaut, but I’m not allowed to use the stove by myself, and umlauts are kind ob tricky to make and fold in the cheese and beggies. Anyway, I won’t be calling myself UberFish anymore, it’s time to rebrand! Dat’s ok. I’m finking ob it as an opportunity, not a set back.
Oh no!! Dis just came in the magic box. Anybody know a good lawyer??
