2024 Granulashun Ceremony

Good Afternoon eberybody – fank you for coming to the Marty School ob Bizness granulashun ceremony!

My name is Waffles, and I will be your host. Eberybody boted for me because I like to talk alot, and dis is no excepshun. We are all so excited to be here, after monffs ob studying and hard work we hab come here to be recognized for our accomplishments and take home dat cobeted degree. Eberybody here is excited to go out into the world and apply our knowledge ob Internashunal Bizness to make the world a better place. Our stapling skills, taping, science, maff, history, arting, monies, diribitibs and more will help us do it. We fank you all for your support along the way, we couldn’t hab done it wiffout you. Well, we probably could hab, but eberyfing is better wiff friends.

Like the speaker before me, I echo dese sentiments: “The lesson is that you’re here because you too learned how to answer the call. (It’s true, we had a customer serbice class where answering the phone was the first fing you hab to do). You don’t earn a degree by doing and being and existing in the comfort zone ob what you already know. (Sock Day is for being in your comfort zone). Look back on the journey that brought you here. What moments challenged you most? (For some it was science class, for some it was the last round ob finals) When were you asked to step outside of your familiar territory in order to rise to the occasion of your potential? I want you to remember those moments, because they will embolden you.”

I am so proud ob us, and wiffout further ado…let the ceremony begin!